I once heard a story from Stephen Covey that has permanently stuck with me. A professor stood in front of his class with an empty glass jar. He filled it to the top with large rocks and asked, “Is it full?” The class looked at it and said yes. Then, the professor poured a bag of small pebbles into the jar. He shook it, allowing the pebbles to roll into the open spaces between the rocks. “Is it full now?” he asked. The students replied, “YES” Next, he poured sand into the jar, filling the remaining gaps. Finally, he poured water into the jar until it was completely full.
He looked up at the classroom. “What is the lesson here?” One eager student raised their hand
and said, “No matter how full the jar is, you can always fit more in!” The professor shook his
head. “You missed the point. The lesson is this: If you don’t put the Big Rocks in first, you will
never be able to fit everything else in.
The Illusion of a Full Life
That is exactly how life works. Our deepest priorities are our Big Rocks. Yet, most of us live
backwards. We fill our daily jars with pebbles, sand, and water first. Our days are consumed with
distractions, noise, and the constant friction of getting pulled in directions that don’t matter. Think about how you are spending your time now. From what I see today, the biggest time waster of our lives is social media. People waste hours every single day mindlessly scrolling through TikTok, Facebook, Instagram and LinkedIn. If it’s not the phone, it’s hours of channel surfing on the TV, choosing to be a couch potato because we are too exhausted to do anything else.
Then we wonder where the time went. We wonder why the things that matter most never get
done. If spending quality time with family is your top priority, you cannot leave it to chance. You
cannot simply hope you will find the time. People always say, I’ll do it tomorrow, or & Next week
when I’m not busy. But when is that? If you do not purposefully carve out the time, it will NEVER
happen.
If you are a family person like me, where family is everything, you have to prioritize them. They
are your Big Rocks. If you let the sand fill the jar first, where exactly do you expect to put your
spouse and your kids? The hard truth is: You won’t.
My Wake-Up Call
I know this because I was that guy! For years, I spent most of my time pouring everything into
my business. When our kids were younger, I was totally driven by the challenge of chasing
business success—whatever that meant. Work was my life’s goal. I was under the illusion that my kids would always be around. I just assumed I would have all the time in the world to spend
with them later, when “I” had the time. Because my business was the pebbles, sand and water filling my jar, I had no space left for my family. I was not even paying attention until my wife dragged me into this harsh reality. She forced me to see that I was completely missing out on our kids growing up. I had to snap out of the illusion about later and start showing up when it actually counted: Now!
What we all need to remember is that we only get ONE chance to see our kids grow up. When
we blow that chance, it is over forever! Children pass through each milestone only once. They
move forward, never backward. If we continue to miss these opportunities, we miss our only
shot to be an active part of their childhood memories, the very experiences they carry with them for the rest of their lives. I am very grateful that my wife woke me up before it was too late for me. This is what Stephen Covey called “Putting First Things First” It means actively protecting your Big Rocks ahead of everything else, because family relationships are irreplaceable.
The Forgotten Big Rock: Your Health
There is another Big Rock that many of us entirely ignore until it is almost too late: Our Health.
What quality of life will you have if you are constantly sick, exhausted, and living with aches and
pain? Too many of us live thinking we are invincible. We take our bodies for granted until
something goes wrong, and suddenly, our health becomes our only priority. How are you taking care of yourself today? Are you eating healthily to nourish your body and exercising regularly to maintain optimal health?
You cannot wait until your body breaks down to start caring. No amount of money—regardless
of how wealthy – will ever buy back your health or your happiness. Take charge of your health
and do not let this vital rock be left to chance.
How to Find Your Big Rocks
My purpose in writing this is to challenge you to find your Big Rocks before the sand of life takes
over your entire jar. Stephen Covey also noted: Always do what is important, but not urgent yet Taking care of your marriage, your children, and your body is incredibly important, but it rarely feels urgent until a crisis hits. As they say: The best time to take any important action was yesterday! We are all trapped in the day-to-day hustle and the grind. It seems we don’t even have the time to sit down and think about what our priorities are. But if you don’t take that time now, 5, 10, or 20 years will vanish in a flash. You will find yourself staring in the mirror, asking, “Where did it all go?”
Here is my challenge to you: Block out uninterrupted time to be completely alone. Take 2 to 3
hours away from everyone and everything. Go to the beach, a park, or a quiet room. Turn off
your cell phone. Sit with your thoughts and ask yourself the hard questions:
● What is my actual purpose for being here on this earth?
● What do I want to accomplish before my time is up, and why?
● How do I want to be remembered by the people who matter most?
● Who holds a special place in my heart, and how am I actively taking care of them?
Going through this exact exercise clarified my life. It grounded me. It allowed me to consistently
show up for my wife, my daughter, and my son. I am far from perfect, but I now do my absolute
best to put my family into my jar first.
Don’t let the pebbles, sand, and water steal your life away. Live purposefully, protect your
priorities, and love deeply. The absolute last thing is not to have any regrets when your time is up. Don’t have any the I would’ve, I could’ve and I should’ve!!